I think there is something beautiful, empowering, even healing about documenting our birth stories. If you haven’t documented yours in some way already, I encourage you to try it.
For me, documenting the births of my children transports me back to the exact place and moments in time that my body did the unthinkable and brought an actual human into this world. Giving birth to my first child truly changed every part of my being in a single instance. Her birth is the reason I have a passion for birth and have decided to build a life and career around that. Her birth made me a Mom. Her birth changed the way I had spent 28 years thinking about myself and my body. Because of her birth, for the first time in my life, I didn’t think my body was broken. Her birth brought me to life!
I won’t be sharing her birth just yet, though. Today, just in time for his very FIRST birthday, I will be sharing the story of the night I met my beautiful son.
As birth does, Ryker’s birth changed me. It will forever leave an imprint on my soul and is something I will always carry close to my heart. Ryker’s birth reaffirmed the fact that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for and that my husband could literally be the world’s greatest Doula if he ever wanted to venture down that road. Haha! It truly gave me a deeper appreciation for my husband though and made me feel more connected to him than I ever had. Ryker’s birth was calm & peaceful. It was empowering and took every ounce of strength I had in my body and then some. His birth was not in a hospital, but in a birth center and was more beautiful than I had imagined. His birth was surrounded by love. His birth was everything I had hoped for.
Ryker’s Birth Story:
On the morning of my due date, 3/25/16, I woke up to drive my Husband to work because we had just had a blizzard a few days earlier and his car had broken down in it. We loaded up Brookie into the car and as I climbed into the driver’s seat I felt the slightest amount of leaking. I thought it could be my waters, but then thought really it could be nothing. Heck, it could be pee! As I do, I decided to ignore it. Unless it was really obvious and really begging for my attention, it was probably nothing, right? Let’s be honest, when we’re THAT pregnant our bodies do some crazy, kind of gross stuff anyway.
As the morning went on, I was receiving the usual, “Happy Due Date! Any baby yet?” texts. I answered them all the same. I felt fine, no signs of labor, I was in no rush, he’ll get here soon enough, and kept thinking there was no way he was coming on his due date. Even though I felt a bit “off” I’m the type of person who doesn’t quickly admit that things are actually happening. I was that way with my first too! I guess I don’t like causing a commotion. Haha! I was also having some mild contractions, but shrugged those off because I had been having those on and off for days now. I figured that my body was just preparing for the real thing.
I spent most of the morning loving on my daughter. I had been super emotional when it came to her for most of my pregnancy. Knowing that the end of our alone time was getting closer only made it worse. Just looking at her would bring me to tears most days. I was not prepared for the bittersweet feeling of having a second baby.
After taking a shower, I went to the bathroom and when I wiped I lost part of my mucus plug. That disgusting booger is still the creepiest part about the whole process for me. It was totally traumatizing when it happened with Brooklyn, but I’ll save that for her story. I continued to call Ryan and keep him updated. I assured him that I wasn’t actually in labor and that my body was probably just preparing. I knew that losing your mucus plug doesn’t automatically spell labor and that we could still have days or even weeks………
I called my youngest sister to ask for help around the house and to have her bring lunch. By the time she had arrived, I had began to lose my appetite and was feeling kind of “sick”. I called Ryan again to update him. This time he decided that he was coming home and starting his parental leave today. When he told me that, I started to face the fact that I may be in labor. Shit was getting real!! Funny that it took my husband to know I was actually in labor.
My sister went to pick Ryan up from work. While they were gone, I got to the point that I now had to start focusing on the contractions I was having. They were still not yet painful, just uncomfortable. I sat on my bed and held Brooklyn’s hand, not wanting our time to end, but anxious to meet our sweet boy. As she always is and always has been, she was my rock. She was so calm and just being in her presence put me at ease.
I already had my 40 week appointent scheduled for that day, so Ryan and I planned to head to that and see what our Midwife had to say. I explained to her all that was happening and had her check if the fluid leak I had earlier was my waters. She confirmed that I was in early labor, my waters had not yet ruptured and we should head home and prepare to be back at the birth center later that evening. She said, we’d be meeting our baby tonight or tomorrow! OMG! So many mixed emotions hit me at that moment. I was really about to give birth again! I was really going to be a Mom of TWO! There was no turning back! And, I’m in labor ON my due date! Crazy!
When we got home, Brooklyn had fallen asleep for her nap on the couch. My eyes filled with tears as I watched her sleep so peacefully, knowing her world was about to change forever. I wanted to really take that moment in and hold on to the image of her for later in my labor when I knew I’d need to draw on the strength she gives me.
I decided to take another shower. Showers are my best friend while in labor. While in the shower my contractions felt like they may be getting more intense. When I got out, Ryan had just finished packing up the car. Brooklyn was awake now and hanging with her Aunty and Daddy. I sat with them to relax and was noticing I was having to now pause from the intensity of my contractions. Ryan began to time them and immediately saw that in the short time we had been home my contractions had become alarmingly close together. His contraction app on his phone said “now is the time to get to the hospital” (or something like that!). I was kind of in disbelief because we had just got home from the birth center and had only been in early labor. I was expecting to be heading back much later in the evening or even overnight. Not right now!
My heart began to race a little and my stomach was doing flips. Deep down I knew that if we waited any longer, we may not make it in time and I was not about to have a baby in the car! I held on so tightly to Brookie and explained over and over how much I love her and that she will always be my baby and that I was going to the birth center to meet her baby brother. I promised her that we would be back soon. I didn’t want to let go! We had my sister take a few pictures and gave our last hugs and kisses.
We walked out to the car and I continued to have some pretty intense contractions. I got in the front seat where Ryan had put a couple towels over the seat. I knew I’d have to hug the back of the seat to brace myself for the drive back to the birth center. Laboring in a car is by far the most uncomfortable, anxiety inducing, messed up thing I’ve ever experienced! And, I had now experienced it twice. As we pulled away I saw Brookie in the window of our house, waving goodbye. I held back tears as another contraction hit me full force.
TO BE CONTINUED……….
